If you’re thinking about suicide

Help and support for anyone in the Dudley Borough who is having suicidal thoughts.

Battling suicidal thoughts

It’s OK not to feel OK

Depression and suicidal thoughts present real threats to everyone in our community. Mental health issues still have stigma attached to them, especially for males. We’re here to tell you that it’s OK to feel the way you do by helping you understand your feelings. You’re not alone.

What is depression?

Depression is more than simply feeling ‘fed up’. Depression may cause you to feel persistently unhappy for weeks or months, with symptoms ranging from lasting feelings of hopelessness or anxiety, to losing interest in the things you used to enjoy and in extreme cases, inflicting self-harm and contemplating suicide. These feelings are very common, affecting 1 in 10 people at some point during their life.

What are suicidal thoughts?

To have ‘suicidal thoughts’ is to contemplate taking your own life. Do you sometimes ask yourself ‘what is the point’? These thoughts can be incredibly complex and may not be as easily identified as thinking ‘I want to kill myself’. What might begin as a brief desire to disappear can develop into stronger feelings of insignificance, worthlessness and the desire to take your own life. This is the time when you need to reach out to someone.

Try talking to someone

Going about your day-to-day life whilst battling depression and suicidal thoughts can be very difficult. You may feel helpless, vulnerable, isolated from your family and friends, or completely overwhelmed by your feelings. We want you to know that help is available and it’s closer than you might think.

The best advice for people experiencing suicidal thoughts is to share their feelings with somebody they trust.

Talking to a family member or a friend will take a tremendous amount of courage, but it may also ease the burden on your shoulders. Your family and friends may be able to give you the support you need and keep you safe. Remember – you don’t have to carry these feelings on your own.

Visit the resources and organisations below for further support on living with suicidal thoughts.

Battling suicidal thoughts?
Dudley Mind

Part of the Mind family, Dudley Mind is a local mental health charity that aims to improve and promote recovery and wellbeing for people in the Dudley Borough.


PAPYRUS

PAPYRUS is the national charity dedicated to the prevention of young suicide.


CALM

The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is an award-winning charity dedicated to preventing male suicide.


Samaritans

Through 201 branches across the UK and Republic of Ireland and a free phone line counselling service, Samaritans provide support for anyone who needs it.


Moving forward

How you can look to the future and regain control

Fighting with suicidal thoughts can feel like a losing battle. Feelings such as uselessness or self-hatred can be so strong that you feel incapable of looking past them, towards your future. Some people may even feel like they have no future, or that they don’t want one. It’s ok to feel like this. But it doesn’t have to be your reality.

We want you to know that people can change how they feel and think about themselves, no matter how dark their world might seem.

To prove this, we spoke with Naomi Ball, a suicide survivor from the Dudley Borough about her battle with suicide – when it began, how she fought it, and how she triumphed. This is her victory.

How my fight with suicide began

“I didn’t have an easy childhood. When I was young, my parents separated following an abusive relationship. During my time at school I was sexually abused on two separate occasions, and I believed I was at fault. These feelings of guilt were the start of my suicidal thoughts, as well as hearing voices. 

I first planned to take my life when I was 17, after feelings of self-hate and self-blame overwhelmed me. The thought of no longer having to deal with my emotions and struggles filled me with relief. Relief that I'd be freeing my family of their burden.  

My attempt was unsuccessful and soon after I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I felt hopeless. Useless. Worthless. 

I spent the next 13 years in and out of hospital being treated for schizophrenia and psychosis, making multiple attempts to take my own life throughout. I withdrew and isolated myself from my friends and family on purpose. I had so much hatred for myself that I didn’t want care or support, I just wanted my life to end. I felt I deserved this.”

Fighting back

“After years of fighting suicidal thoughts, I became tired of constantly wishing for it all to end. I didn’t want to keep fighting it. I wanted to win. 

Throughout my battle with suicide, my relationship with my mum grew stronger and stronger. She was the constant pillar of positivity and understanding that I needed. My trust in her, and her love for me, allowed me to gradually tell her more about my feelings and my battle with suicide. 

Things changed for the better following a lengthy 14-month admission to hospitals. At the end of my hospitalisation my psychiatrist referred me to an in-patient therapeutic community. It was here that my life changed. I shared my journey with the group, opening up about the voices I heard, the self-harm and the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. As difficult as that experience was, it made the difference in my fight with suicide. 

I felt like I had nothing to be afraid of anymore. I laid my skeletons bare, in a room full of strangers. Talking about my deepest, darkest secrets had set me free. I had taken back control.”

Regaining control

“It’s been three years since I was last admitted to hospital, which is the longest I've been out since I was 17. I still have a fantastic relationship with my mum and have just started my second year studying Psychology and Counselling at university. 

I feel like my life has purpose now. I’m looking forward to my future, and I’m excited that I've got one. 

When I was battling suicide, it felt impossible to look past the immediate feelings of disgust and uselessness I had for myself. I felt like there was nothing to be positive about. I hated myself. I blamed myself for where I was in life, for the abuse I experienced. I piled guilt on myself for thinking about taking my own life, and even more for trying. 

I fought with those feelings, and I won. When I think about my life now, I feel hopeful. Useful. Worthy.”

What’s your advice to others?

"To anybody who is battling with suicidal thoughts, my advice would be talk about them with somebody you trust, whether that’s a family member or a friend. Reaching out about how you are feeling will open the door for care and support. 

Help is out there for those who need it. You’re not alone."

Reach out for support
Stamp Out Suicide

Stamp Out Suicide has a free phone line counselling service that is accessible to anyone in the UK in need of support.


Citizen's Advice Dudley Borough

Citizen's Advice Dudley Borough provides independent, confidential and impartial advice on big issues affecting people’s lives.


Samaritans

Through 201 branches across the UK and Republic of Ireland and a free phone line counselling service, Samaritans provides support for anyone who needs it.


CALM

The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is an award-winning charity dedicated to preventing male suicide.


Talk about how you feel

Reaching out can change your life

Living with suicidal thoughts can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to deal with these feelings alone. Sharing the problem with a trusted friend or a family member can give you an insight into how you’re feeling and open the door for care and support.

Unfortunately, there are lots of people, especially men, who feel too nervous to reach out and talk about their feelings. This stigma is dangerous, causing less people to reach out each year. So, we’re going to tackle the stigma and highlight why it’s important to talk about suicide.

Real men don’t experience suicidal thoughts

We know that those who experience suicidal thoughts are not ‘weak’ or less ‘masculine’. Suicidal thoughts are more common than people think, with 1 in 4 people experiencing them at some point in their lives. Suicide can affect anybody, from any background.

If you’re ready to reach out to somebody close to you, be sure to share your feelings with a trustworthy friend or family member. Talk to somebody who is understanding and open-minded – somebody who will listen to you.

I’m too embarrassed to tell my family or friends

Another common feeling amongst those who experience suicidal thoughts is that they’re too embarrassed to open up to their family or friends, for fear of judgment or pity.

If you’re too embarrassed to share your feelings with somebody that you know, support is still available to you. You can sit down and talk with your GP or have an anonymous conversation with suicide support organisations like Samaritans or PAPYRUS HopelineUK.

I’m worried that people won’t take my feelings seriously

You might be worried that you’ll be accused of seeking attention when opening up about your feelings. Your GP, or a suicide support group will listen very carefully to what you have to say and will provide information and support accordingly. Doctors and support workers are there to help you.

If you’re concerned that one of your family members or friends will react in this way, be sure to share your thoughts with somebody that you trust.

How do I start the conversation?

Reaching out to a friend or family member is an incredibly brave thing to do. If you’ve made the decision to do that, then the hardest part is already behind you.

When you share your feelings, the most important thing is to describe how you feel. You may not understand why you feel that way, or how to change it, so start with what you do know. It’s best to be direct and honest, as this allows the people supporting you to better understand what you’re going through and give you the help that you need.

As you’re sharing your feelings, they may react with surprise or sadness. This is a natural reaction, so do your best to stay on track with your conversation. Together, you’ll get through it.

What really matters is that you don’t bury your feelings deep inside you. Instead, try starting a conversation. Meet your friend on a park bench, or a family member in a café and invite their support. Talking about your feelings should ease your burden.

If you would feel more comfortable talking to a support group, the following services are available to you.

Talk to someone who wants to listen
Stamp Out Suicide

Stamp Out Suicide have a free phone line counselling service that is accessible to anyone in the UK in need of support.


Samaritans

Through 201 branches across the UK and Republic of Ireland and a free phone line counselling service, Samaritans provide support for anyone who needs it.


Dudley Mind

Part of the Mind family, Dudley Mind are a local mental health charity that aims to improve and promote recovery and wellbeing for people in the Dudley Borough.